Brian's NYC

Disclaimer: If you're squeamish or easily offended, you probably shouldn't read this entry.

I was thoroughly entertained while reading my most recent issue of Time Out New York by the column "Get Naked," a question and answer column, "Dear Abbey" style, regarding sex and love. Check out this fantastic question and answer. Who knows, maybe you'll learn something new. ;)

Q: I am a 26-year-old versatile gay male who's been happily partnered with another versatile male for the past seven years. I'm not as tight as I used to be. As a bottom, I am very relaxed and can take it all in easily, and he's nicely hung. When we've had a threesome, I've been able to take two at once. When I bottom lately with him, I feel that I'm not tight enough and it doesn't feel the way "normal" anal sex should feel, I guess. I do like a little bit of pain, too. My question is, how do I make myself tight again for the pleasure of both of us? Is this all psychological, or is it at all physiological?

A: Allow me to recite to you one of my favorite passages from Dr. Jack Morin's seminal sex book, Anal Pleasure & Health. "As you saw in the last chapter, your anus has a memory (it shares yours). However, most people find that the anus does not hold a grudge." That has absolutely nothing to do with your situation, but I just love the idea of my anus looking back wistfully on, say, that beach vacation to Mexico we went on, and then forgiving me for making it deal with the repercussions from eating one too many beef tacos. I guess I just wanted to take this opportunity to say: "Thank you, kind, compassionate anus!" Okay, now where were we? Ah yes--that little Cirque du Soleil surprise you've got between your butt cheeks. I mean, come on, two dicks at one time? Nobody likes a show-off. Normally, I would tell you that the idea that you're going to end up with a saggy anus if you indulge in a lot of anal sex is a myth likely propagated by uptight Huckabee types. But since you do seem to like to push the anal envelope a bit, I have to tell you that it is not entirely out of the question (as some veteran fistees would attest to). Although the sphincter muscles (like hamstrings or any other muscles) are designed to expand and contract without losing tone, all bets are off if the tissue becomes damaged beyond self-repair. I'm not saying this is definitely the case here, I'm just saying it is a physiological possibility. My advice? Sstart doing anus-toning Kegel exercises (you know those things where you continuously release and contract your pelvic muscles) and stop the action when you feel pain.

Who knew! :)