On October 5, 2007, I wrote a blog entry about looking up and not losing sight of the fact that I live in one of the biggest and best cities in the world. After living in the city for over two years, it has never been more important to remember to look up. I was reminded of this significance this year on the 8 year anniversary of 9/11 (btw, it always bugs me when people say '9-11' and not 'September 11th.' I don't know why). I always forget about the impending anniversary until I see the two pillars of light piercing the sky like they do every year to commemorate the day. It always takes me by surprise, and puts me into a contemplative place. It reminds me that the city is just as fragile as the people who are in it.
When giving directions to a couple of tourists on my way to work today, I thought about perspectives. I feel like I am constantly fighting against the city and always struggling so hard to stay afloat. But in that moment, to those sweet people, I probably was a life saver who must really know what I'm doing and where I am going. It also made me feel empowered to know that if I am able to keep as many perspectives in mind as possible, I can really manage to stay sane and get ahead. It is so easy to find oneself on a one track mindset in this city that always has so much going on. We have to try to remember that everyone has their own unique outlook on things.
Anyway, back to looking up. It is really refreshing to see the city from a different point of view. Seeing the monstrous sky scrapers and the break of clear blue sky is a really beautiful thing to witness, and the city looks so peaceful. I need to make a conscious effort to do this more often. It could really give me some much needed relaxation, sanity, and perspective that I feel I am forever searching for.
Navigating this city can be taxing, both physically and emotionally. After living here for two years, I feel more independent and secure as a person, but also more prone to stress related ailments (apparently I snore now, and seeing as how I only do it in the city, I am thinking it's related to my lack of ability to relax). I seem to fluctuate each day from being content in my life and loving the city to hating everything about it (the noise, the air, the people) and wondering why I put myself through so much anxiety.
I was discussing this topic with my friend Emily recently, and we realized that we seem to be going through life just waiting for the nervous breakdowns and doing everything we can to avoid them and just stay afloat. And when we do have these mental collapses, it is a challenge to get our head out of the mud. Everything seems to be going against you, everyone seems to be out to get you, and the city shows no mercy. We move through our days in a funk (or sometimes don't get out of bed at all), and are constantly questioning our lives, our aspirations, and our abilities. Then, miraculously, something clicks. Someone says something at the right moment, you notice something on your block you hadn't noticed before, an opportunity comes along, and you realize that you're going to be ok. And once you rise up out of the funk, you feel stronger than ever, and have learned from the slip. But inevitably, we know it will happen again, and the process starts all over.
So what is it about the city that keeps us going through the same rigorous process? Can everyone in New York really be so self-deprecating to constantly put ourselves through this, or is only concentrated to actors or people struggling to do what they really love to do? I don't know what it is, but it certainly makes things easier to know that I won't be here forever. I feel good about myself knowing that there is more to the world than this city (some people who grew up in NYC truly believe there is nothing else worthwhile to experience on the planet), and I know that I won't be able to to deal with life the way it is now forever. So I just go through each day knowing that in a few years I will move on and be stronger than ever thanks to my experiences in the Big Apple. And pray for those breakdowns to stay away.
Is it possible to be a professional vacationer? I'm curious to look into this...
Day 1: Once again, I am traveling while ill. Apparently, I physically and mentally phsych myself out and pump up the stress before traveling. Why do I always push myself so hard right before traveling? I came down with a viscous fever two days before we flew, which turned into congestion. 3 out of 4 trips in the last year started this way. Let's not make this more of a habit, ok?
Our flight was originally booked to go from JFK to St. Thomas direct, departing at 8am, landing at 12pm. Nic got an email about a month prior saying our flights had been rebooked due to restructuring within the airline. More specifically we had to leave two hours early (yes, at 6am!!) and arrive 2 hours later (at 2pm...tacking on 4 hours to our trip). We booked a car to pick us up at 4am because I hate being stressed out when I travel and like to allow ample time (note to self: flying on a sunday at 6am = not necessary to leave this early when not checking luggage and have already checked in online. just sayin'). It was very interesting to see how many people were ending their night as we were beginning our day. While we didn't have any traffic making it to the airport, our driver did have to swerve around several pedestrians in *ahem* altered states of mind.
After a layover in Atlanta at 8am, we finally made it to the island of St. Thomas at 2pm, and we were so excited to be in paradise. There was only one problem: I was flying while a bit congested, and on the second flight my ears plugged up in the descent and never un-plugged. This having happened to me before, I decided to ignore it to the best of my ability, enjoy the free samples of Cruzan Rum they were handing out at the airport, take in the beautiful scenery as we were escorted by ferry to St. John, and savor the delicious drinks and food perfected by the resort staff.
Day 2: My ears=not so good. I could hardly sleep at all, and if I did it had to be sitting up, which made for a sore back and neck. I called the islands emergency clinic, and wouldn't you know it they didn't have any room for me until noon the next day. The pain and pressure at times were unbearable, but we still plugged away (ha) with our vacation and enjoyed time spent lying on the beach, lounging at the pool, and enjoying those frozen rum drinks.Day 3: FINALLY got to the clinic! It was accessible to us by taxi, and is located at the top of the 
island. The view from up there is breathtaking, and I would have much rather been enjoying the sights all day than sitting in the examination room. It was discovered that I had double ear infections in both ears, which I took to calling a quadruple ear infection just to make it sound more dramatic than it actually was. Fluid from my head congestion got caught in my ear drum, and the cabin pressure on the plane also caused wax to build up in my ear, not allowing the fluid to drain. So, I got an inner ear canal and middle ear drum infection. In both ears. The 
greatest/worst part of it all was having the wax flushed out of my ears (see photo. you're welcome for that, by the way). I say worst because of the pain and mess it created, but the greatest because I got to watch Nic's face as it was happening. After exploring the inner part of the island to find a clinic to fill my pennecilin perscription, Nic and I strolled through downtown St. John and lounged by the pool, all the while enjoying that Cruzan rum! :)
island. The view from up there is breathtaking, and I would have much rather been enjoying the sights all day than sitting in the examination room. It was discovered that I had double ear infections in both ears, which I took to calling a quadruple ear infection just to make it sound more dramatic than it actually was. Fluid from my head congestion got caught in my ear drum, and the cabin pressure on the plane also caused wax to build up in my ear, not allowing the fluid to drain. So, I got an inner ear canal and middle ear drum infection. In both ears. The 
greatest/worst part of it all was having the wax flushed out of my ears (see photo. you're welcome for that, by the way). I say worst because of the pain and mess it created, but the greatest because I got to watch Nic's face as it was happening. After exploring the inner part of the island to find a clinic to fill my pennecilin perscription, Nic and I strolled through downtown St. John and lounged by the pool, all the while enjoying that Cruzan rum! :)Day 4: St. John has tons of mini islands and bays around the island which can be accessed by boat. The resort had dinghys for rent, where we could explore all of these islands for the day. 
Unfortunately for us, today the water was too choppy, and the dinghys being, well, dingy, wouldn't hold up. So instead we traveled to famous Cinnamon Bay by taxi to enjoy what many say is the most beautiful beach in the world. We cannot argue with them. The pristine water was so clear we were able to watch a stingray as it swam right by us (good thing, too. we woulda stepped on it). And the sand feels like cinnamon under your feet (duh. and DON'T even try to tell me you don't know what that feels like, sicko). The only negative thing about the beach are the mosquitos. Well, ok, not the beach itself, but the surrounding woods. 70% of the island is protected as a national forest, which means vegetation and wildlife is very abundant, including mosquitos. Sitting for 15 minutes in a taxi waiting for it to depart, I must have gotten a dozen bug bites. Thankfully a fellow taxi rider shared her bug spray. We would have been dinner.
Unfortunately for us, today the water was too choppy, and the dinghys being, well, dingy, wouldn't hold up. So instead we traveled to famous Cinnamon Bay by taxi to enjoy what many say is the most beautiful beach in the world. We cannot argue with them. The pristine water was so clear we were able to watch a stingray as it swam right by us (good thing, too. we woulda stepped on it). And the sand feels like cinnamon under your feet (duh. and DON'T even try to tell me you don't know what that feels like, sicko). The only negative thing about the beach are the mosquitos. Well, ok, not the beach itself, but the surrounding woods. 70% of the island is protected as a national forest, which means vegetation and wildlife is very abundant, including mosquitos. Sitting for 15 minutes in a taxi waiting for it to depart, I must have gotten a dozen bug bites. Thankfully a fellow taxi rider shared her bug spray. We would have been dinner.The beach excursion was capped off with an amazing sunset cruise around the island. It was so 
relaxing and fun to get out on the water, enjoy even more rum, and watch the beautiful sunset while chatting with friendly island natives. The weather was fantastic, the scenery too gorgeous to be given justice on film, and I was with Nic, so the company wasn't that bad either!
relaxing and fun to get out on the water, enjoy even more rum, and watch the beautiful sunset while chatting with friendly island natives. The weather was fantastic, the scenery too gorgeous to be given justice on film, and I was with Nic, so the company wasn't that bad either!Day 5: Our last day. :( And we found out that the dinghy rentals needed to be reserved 24 hours in advance. This means that even though the guide couldn't let us check one out because the water was too choppy the day before, he could have signed us up for one for the next day. Lame. With that idea scrapped, we still wanted to see the island. So we signed up for a guided island tour. The tour was in an open air taxi like the ones we had been using all week, and took us around to see all of the bays and beaches, downtown, and the inland parts of the island. We quickly realized this would have been the perfect thing to do on our FIRST day at the resort, but we couldn't be bothered with all of the amazing scenery we were able to enjoy. A quick trip to an
abandoned sugar mill on the other side of the island left everyone running from the mosquitos (and Nic running from lizards). Thankfully we thought ahead and came prepared with a giant bottle of bug spray. We passed the can around and shared it with our tour mates who were extremely appreciative, including the new mother who asked me (not so much asked as told me) to hold her baby while she applied bug spray (guess I would make a neglectful father, judging from the photo). We later enjoyed a beautiful and delicious anniversary dinner downtown on our last night on the island.
abandoned sugar mill on the other side of the island left everyone running from the mosquitos (and Nic running from lizards). Thankfully we thought ahead and came prepared with a giant bottle of bug spray. We passed the can around and shared it with our tour mates who were extremely appreciative, including the new mother who asked me (not so much asked as told me) to hold her baby while she applied bug spray (guess I would make a neglectful father, judging from the photo). We later enjoyed a beautiful and delicious anniversary dinner downtown on our last night on the island.Day 6: The trip back was just as long as the trip out, and was prolonged even more by storms in NYC (glad we missed those!). Contrary to popular belief, there's not much to do in the Atlanta airport. Except eat at Chili's, which we did, and we enjoyed. Chili's, I love you.
Everything about working in a restaurant bugs me these days (except for the convenience factor), but here are ten of my top pet peeves:
10) Excessively Drunk People: While I appreciate the boost in my check average, nine times out of ten you are going to stiff me on my tip. Plus, I’m a moral person and overserving drunk people stresses me out. Keep your alcoholism at home!
9) Check Splitting: Our computer system makes it especially complicated, but split a check ten ways with credit cards? I can think of something I’d like to do you ten ways, but it doesn’t involve credit cards. And there’s right and wrong way to go about it. Don’t tell me at the end of the meal after everything is already rung in. Don’t tell me to just put your stuff on a credit card. I am not your mother. I do not want to keep track of what you eat and drink. Tell me how much you want me to put on your credit card, then add the tip later.
8) Health Food Snobs: Do you know the definition of “comfort food?” I’m all for healthy eating and comment you for doing it, but in the land of mac + cheese and chicken fried steak, you’re S.O.L.
7) Returning Drink Orders: Sending something back because it is bad is one thing,b ut just because you don’t like it? Uh-uh! Here’s some advice fi you don’t like bourbon, don’t order a manhattan, and if you can’t handle the heat, stay away from the cajun pepper martini!
6) Seating yourself: As long as we live in America and you have a waiter, there will always be someone to assign you a table. And we assign it for a reason; so don’t be a dick and argue your way to sit where you want.
5) Poor Tippng: There are so many reasons why this happens, and in my book unless your waiter straight up tells you how awful you are, there are no excuses for poor tips. I get $4.60 an hour. I can’t even pay for lunch on that. You are robbing me of my salary. I can’t do anything about the food being bad, so don’t dock because of that. Think there is no need to tip more than a few bucks, try 20%. With the level of service I give you, that is what I deserve. I care about giving you a nice dining experience (although sometimes I don’t know why). Don’t make me regret it. Get a discount because you know me, are friends with the owner, or complained until you got something taken off your bill? Don’t count that in the tip. Tip me on what the total bill WOULD be, full price.
4) Foreign Tourists: Most of the time, I think you are cute and want to help. But if you are smart enough to fly overseas and find your way to my restaurant, you’re smart enough to know the dining customs.
3) Weird Food Requests: You eat out to enjoy a dining experience. If you are not along for the ride and want to customize your order and completely change it, maybe you should have stayed home.
2) Extra People: Dining with a big party? Bring it on. But first of all, make a reservation. If you can’t make a reservation, at least call ahead and let us know you are coming. And once you arrive, keep the dining total where it is. If you show up for a reservation for two and it’s now three, you need a bigger table. If I just put your order in the computer and two more people show up expecting to be fed, it throws a wrench in the preparation of your food.
1) “Gimme:” I understand that I am working to serve you and make you have a relaxing dining experience. But don’t treat me like I am “the help.” Use your table manners, and say “please” and “thank you.” When I approach you and ask you how you are doing, don’t respond with “I want a margarita,” or a “We’re not ready to order yet.” I’m more than happy to leave you alone, but it wouldn’t kill you to use some common courtesy when you’re interacting with another human being.
P.S. For some awesome waiter rants, check out bitter waiter.
Donell James Foreman is currently on tour with Mamma Mia!
Full given name: Donell James Foreman
Hometown: Albany, NY
Zodiac sign: Pisces
Special skills: Whistle tones, disgusting faces, and having a freakish memory.
First Broadway show ever saw: RENT
If you could go back in time and catch any Broadway show, what would it be?: DREAMGIRLS
Current show you have been recommending to friends: MARY STUART
Actor whose career you admire the most: André De Shields (but on a side note, can we discuss how Krysta Rodriguez is WORKING! I need her agent).
Favorite show tune: "Rainbow High" from Evita.
I love to hate: Songs with horrible lyrics.
I hate to love: Zac Efron.
MAC or PC?: Mac ALL the way!
Most played song on your iPod: "Smash Into You" by Beyonce.
Last book you read: "Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami.
Must-see TV show: Ugly Betty.
Last good movie you saw: Slumdog Millionaire.
Favorite board game: Monopoly (just takes too long to play).
Performer you would drop everything to go see: I would Janet Jackson or Beyonce, but I have done other things instead of seeing them live. Oops.
Pop culture guilty pleasure: Just look at my iTunes. Any 80s or 90s pop music.
Cats or dogs: Actually neither, but I did just get a really cute puppy named Duke!
Favorite cereal: Trix.
Favorite cereal: Trix.
First stage kiss: CAROUSEL; ugh, it was high school, so that's the ONLY reason I was Billy Bigelow.
Favorite pre-show meal: Chicken and waffles - thank you LA!
Favorite post-show meal: Sour Patch Watermelons.
How you got your Equity card: From MAMMA MIA!
Worst onstage mishap: Forgetting to wear my mic for "Without Love" in HAIRSPRAY.
Worst costume ever: I have no idea - I usually don't mind what i wear. It's only for 2 1/2 hours, right?
Who would play you in the movie (aka celeb look-alike)?: Blair Underwood.
Gig you’ve enjoyed the most: The quiet solitude of the Weston Playhouse in Vermont.
Your favorite thing about New York: Escaping to areas like Battery Park City and not feeling like you're in an over-crowded city anymore.
Leading role you've been dying to play: (In a good 10 years) Jimmy Early in DREAMGIRLS.
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